Don't cha wish?

Dear Katie,
Tell the CW to stop their searching because I am going to be the next Pussycat Doll.


If there can be two plus sized chicks on America's Next Top Model, why can't there be a portly pussycat? My size aside, I can rock it out on the dance floor. Vocals...please. I am not the best singer on the block, but praising the dolls for their singing is like going to Hooters for the wings. Just cause I make hot pants look more like "please don't wear those" pants, doesn't mean I couldn't join the ranks of the current dolls. Those girls need someone like me, someone who doesn't get by by accidentally dropping things on the floor and bending over to pick them up. I am a fighter. I am fierce. And I know how to par-tay. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...in theory...one day... ANYWAY, life on the road isn't always fun, and I'm sure the dolls are always looking for a non-bony shoulder to cry on. I can be that shoulder, and I can make things fun. I am an excellent hair braider, and my guacamole is to die for. So, Robin Antin, sister of the man I wrote about here, do yourself a favor and make me, Brianna Hope Fly Girl Dancy Pants Jacobson, the next Pussycat Doll.
Love,
Brianna Hope Fly Girl Dancy Pants Jacobson

Mid-Term Report

Dear Brianna,

I've been keeping close contact with our secret google insider, and they have recently sent me a report of the top search phrases people use to find our blog. Most of the search phrases have something to do with Katie, Brianna, Lifemates or Heterosexual. BUT, there are some little gems that I found trying to hide behind the normalcy of their wife and children, and here they are:

-dirty aim conversations
-gay+irishman
-brianna's birthday
-Wayne Newton face surgery
-dirty grandma
-faces of brianna
-grampa fucking grandma
-dear mom please tell the story of how i got my ...
-Brianna whats it matter
-"true life: i am obese"
-drinking gin and juice in the hood
-august and brianna
-whore
-kevin spacey
-brianna love tube
-world of outlaws car bedroom sets
-to much beer causing me to wet the bed
-WHERE IS BRIANNA ?
-"steven segal" fat

We really talk about some hard hitting things, Brianna. We should be proud.

Love,
Katie

P.S.
Please check out these awesome videos on youtube from a bunch of our friends at the UCB Theatre!
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=cutmanfilms