Katie and Brianna: Heterosexual Life mates

photo We're not gay but we're meant for each other, baby

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

O.J. Simpson...not a Jew.

Dear Katie,
Remember when we were in the mall in Baltimore and the salesgirl at Aerosol's was beligerently declaring her love for Christmas Music? Remember how she was a second away from tearing off our faces and fashioning them into a pair of stylish yet comfortable shoes when we said we were already tired of them? Well, I am facing the same sort of predicament, but with a little chosen person twist.
Tonight is the first night of Hannukah, and I swear this won't be a "it's so hard being a Jew at Christmastime" post. I got over that in high school when I wrote a letter to the school newspaper criticizing them for not displaying any Jewish imagery in the happy holidays pictorial. This is more of a "it's so hard being a Jew at Hannukah time" post. Confused? I will explain.
We Jew-folk only really have one popular, playable Hannukah song, and I was tired of it as soon as it was released in 1994. There are three versions of Adam Sandler's Hannukah Song, and all three are playing in full force on Z100. If I don't feel enough guilt based on my chosen person heritage, imagine how much guilt I feel changing the radio station on the one holiday song my people have. It has nothing to do with Adam Sandler or wishing I celebrated Christmas. It has everything to do with the fact that I know David Lee Roth lights the menorah and that if you put Goldie Hawn and Paul Newman together you'd have one fine lookin' Jew. I knew it singing the song really loud in Hebrew School, and I knew it when it got stuck in my head on the train yesterday.
It is even getting to the point where I am turning to Christmas music for relief. I really like the song about the chestnuts. It's catchy, and sweet, and fun to sing when you are alone in your room and no one can hear you.
Hannukah is full of wonderful things. It is the one time of year when you can eat fried potatoes, jelly doughnuts, and chocolate coins without feeling bad about it. You light pretty candles and recite the blessings and sometimes you get presents. It is a wonderful holiday that deserves a wonderful catalogue of musical tribute. So, step up Jewish people. Pick up a pencil, grab your trumpet, and write some songs for us. And while your at it, put on your yammakah cause here comes Hannukah...drink your gin and tonic-as, smoke your marijuanicas...
I digress.


Post a Comment

<< Home