Katie and Brianna: Heterosexual Life mates

photo We're not gay but we're meant for each other, baby

Monday, April 23, 2007

Don't fear the reaper

Dear Brianna,

I know that summer can be a scary time for all of us. You want to be outside, but what is there to do? In the winter, you can hide inside using the cold or the snow as excuses to not leave your apartment. But if you're a very tight budgeted new yorker without A/C like myself, you know that you can't stay in your apartment unless you want to die a most horrible death. You must get out there. Problem is, you've seen all the sights of NYC.

-the empire state building is just too fucking high and not worth that breeze
-you've done the shade in central park and frankly, you can't handle all the people using modes of transportation that make them faster than you
-coney island is just plain gross and that water CAN NOT be swam in
-you can only handle riding the subway for the A/C for a limited amount of time (mostly because people's sweat will literally choke you)
-movies usually suck pretty hard in the summer (except for spider man three...EE!) and aren't worth ten bucks,
-Starbucks is an asshole...

So, what is there to do???

Fear not, for I have a most grand time solution. Do you have an Ipod? A CD Player? A boom box that you can carry on your shoulder a la 1985?

Great. Take the subway into manhattan if you don't already live there, and pick a nice spot where you can walk down the street without tripping yourself in tourist camera lanyards or rich snobby people sak's bags, and get a good pace going. Walk down that street like it's fucking yours. Now, look through your Ipod, CD or cassette collection and pick something you know will make you feel like a million bucks. I would choose something like Justin Timberlake's new album, or maybe something more classic like Aaliyah...whatever floats your boat.

Now that you have your music and your map laid out in front of you, think of that one thing you REALLY want that is right there in front of you but you just can't fucking reach it. A movie deal, a great part in a play, that awesome apartment, a recording contract, a book deal, a relationship with that special someone, a dog, an iced tea, whatever it may be, and start to think of it. Now, think of one of your favorite motivational movies...got it?

Awesome. My pick today for plot line would have to be "The Wedding Singer," and I would make my music some Hall and Oates, or some such other 80's awesome tuneage. Getting it?

Right on. Now, walk down the street, get a good pace going and blare that music in your ears (or in the ears of everyone around you in the case of the boom box). Think really hard about what you want, think about the story line of that movie you picked and change it around a little to match your situation...and presto; you're in the movies! You've created your very own motivational, my life needs to change, I finally got everything I want movie strut!! Fun times abound! No end in sight!

I seriously do this all summer long. It takes up all my time. Help me.


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