Where do we go from here?

Dear Katie,

Anyone who has ever met me knows three things about me…

1)I love dance parties

2)I WILL marry Seth Green

And finally…

3)I am a Buffy fan.

Some time has passed, three-ish years to be exact, since Buffy the Vampire Slayer ended its seven-season run, however the show’s effect on me has not gone away. I am a slave to Buffy-speak, I dress like Willow, and have never lost that self-confidence that I learned to have from all the sassy females on that show. Anyway, the reason I am all Buffy-centric girl again is that I just finished re-watching the series on my first edition DVDs. As a way to ease the transition from college graduate to working gal, I decided to go back to the series that helped me transition from an awkward, just Bat-Mitzvah’d, teenager to a little bit less awkward high school and college, dare I say, woman.

I’ll spare you the ups and downs of the first six seasons—the Buffy/Angel romance, Oz mocking me with his monkey pants, Willow and Tara, The Musical, and Buffy dying…again—because none of it compared to the experience of seeing the final episode, aptly titled, “Chosen.” My first experience with this episode, needless to say, was not good. It was the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of college and I was about to move to New York. I sat alone, in the middle of my bedroom floor, and watched as the past seven years finally came to a close. Crying does not describe what I was doing in the iconic scene showing the core four—Willow, Xander, Buffy, and Giles—standing together in the new high school much like they did at the end of the very first episode. When Giles uttered the classic line, “The Earth is definitely doomed,” for the second time in the series, I lost whatever “it” I had left to lose. I was carrying on so loudly that our neighbors from across the street called to see what was going on. My mom came into my room and held me, trying to calm me down, but it took some time to recover. What was I to do with my Tuesday nights? What was going to happen to Buffy and the Scooby Gang? How would I get my Joss Whedon fix?

As you can imagine, life did go on, but I never subjected myself to watching, “Chosen,” again... until Monday afternoon. To celebrate my first day off in who knows how long, I stayed in bed and finished the seventh season. I was content, fed, rested, and in perfectly good spirits. No signs of tears in sight. Not so much has changed though because as soon as I saw that scene again, and saw the Scoobies part ways for the battles of all battles, tears welled up in my eyes. I didn’t hoot, and I definitely didn’t holler, however I was definitely emotional. And as everyone asked Buffy, “What are we gonna do now?” I asked myself the same thing.

Love,

Brianna