Katie and Brianna: Heterosexual Life mates

photo We're not gay but we're meant for each other, baby

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Money Money Money Money MONEEEYY

Dear Brianna,

I'm fairly certain that the majority of our readers are among the millions who flocked see the biggest comedy of the year, "Borat."
Sasha Baron Cohen, the man behind the facade of Borat, is an amazing artist and a brilliant comedian, so his new super fame in the United States is very warranted. He is also the man who filled much of our nation with shame and doubt in themselves, and I applaud him for that in a most of the cases. But, there is one instance where I cannot bring myself to clap skin against skin. There is one instance where I cannot bring a smile to my face, and I am finished standing for the horrible things he has done to me and my family name! I cannot stand for the slandering of my driving teacher! I will not stand for it for one more second!

What's going to happen to my future now? What if I apply to a job that requires I drive some type of vehicle and the second they see that I graduated from Perry Hall Maryland's driving school they throw my application in the trash? What if I'm driving merrily along and someone all the sudden recognizes me and drives me off the road, causing me to loose my license, trash my car and land me in a wheel chair? How shall I feed myself and my fourteen children then? We shall starve! Starve like animals! Well, they'll starve and then I'll starve after I've eaten all of them, but, that's beside the point. I have been publicly defamed! My name has been run over by a car driven my a foreign man! And he didn't even honk to warn me he was coming!!!

So, I've decided to sue. And I'm not suing with a crack house case like all the others who were "defamed" by something they said in the movie. They signed papers. DUH! If you sign something, your life is legally owned by someone else right then and there. Everyone knows that. But, I was never given a paper to sign! I was never given a choice! Where is that fair?? I was born to fight for equality. Especially equality for myself. So, here I go.

I hear-by sue everyone involved in this movie. I sue you Mr. Sasha Baron Cohen because you were "smart" enough to realize that "reality" is "funnier" than "put on" comedy. And, you have plenty already. I'm suing my driving teacher because he was retarded enough to sign the paper. If you don't want to be in a film don't sign papers that make your appearance legal, no matter what happens with the film. And finally, I'm suing Arnold Schwarzenegger because he totally touched my boob.

In closing, I want money. GIMMIE GIMMIE MONEEEEYYY!



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