Katie and Brianna: Heterosexual Life mates

photo We're not gay but we're meant for each other, baby

Monday, January 29, 2007

The Boxer

Dear Brianna,

I'm lazy. It's my turn to post. Here's a character monologue I wrote for my writing studio. I wish I was in the middle of nowhere today. It's cold. Please read this is a southern accent.


Grandpa always leaves the house and I never know where it is he's off
to. One day I saw him grab a fishin' pole out the garage, so I figured
he was goin' fishin somewheres, probably the lake down the road a
ways, so I ask him wher you goin' Grampa? He never answers me, he just
gets in the truck. He throws his box and his pole in his truck and he
gets in and starts drivin' away. One day I ran after the truck cause I
just wanted to know real bad where he was off to. I thought he was
goin' to the store without me and I love goin' to the store, so I
start runin' down the gravel driveway to catch up with him, and he
sees me in the mirror and he stops his truck so I can catch up with
him. I was gettin' real angry cause I thought he was tryin' to trick
me out of goin' to the store with him and he knew that I needed to get
me some fishin' hooks so I run up to the window to try and get his
attention and he rolls it down and I ask where you off to Grandpa, and
he says I gotta go do somethin. I gotta do this, I gotta do that. He
ain't gotta do nothin' but breathe, and I tell him that, but I never
get nothing but a branch to my hyde if I talk back to him.

I tried smokin' one of them cigars that Grandpa leaves in the ash
tray in the livin' room. It's only a little left so I figured, I
figured that it wouldn't matter too much. Like, he wouldn't miss it or
nothin'. So I took it out of the tray in the livin' room and I went
outside behind the barn. Not like I was hidin' or nothin', but I just
like to be behind the barn. Not because the compost pile is there or
nothin' , cause that smells, but I just like to know that some people
could only see me if they tried real hard. So I put it in my mouth and
there comes Grandma right around the corner, and she sees me puttin'
somethin' in my mouth. She dropped her whole basket of tomatoes right
there in the dirt and they go flyin' everywheres and I just start
laughin' . I start rollin' around on the ground, not in the compost
pile or nothin' cause that smells, but I start rollin' around in the
ground right by there and she comes barrellin' over like I has been
doin' somethin' wrong and she asks me what you been up to boy? And I
tell her nothin' cause I ain't really been up to nothin' and she tells
me I got somethin' in my mouth that shouldn't be there, and I tell her
it's just one of them cigars that Grandpa keeps in the ashtray in the
livin' room. So she gets real upset tellin' me I can't put them in my
mouth because they're dirty and I tell her that I put dirty things in
my mouth all the time and nothin' ain't happened to me yet and she
just stands there and she looks real upset and all so I tell her I'll
stop puttin' dirty things in my mouth if its what she wants. I tell
her I won't put them tomatoes in my mouth later at supper cause
they've been on the ground and they is dirty.

Grandpa put Grandma in the truck one mornin' real early, and I hear
the dogs barkin' so I go outside to see what's goin' on cause the dogs
only bark if somethin is going on or somethin', so I go outside to see
what all the fuss is and Grandpa is putting Grandma in the truck. She
looks real tired or somethin' so I ask them if they're goin' to the
store to wait for it to open and he says for me to go back inside and
he be back later. So he gets in the truck and starts the truck and he
starts to drive down the gravel driveway and I start to run after the
truck cause I wanna know what's goin on. Grandma looks real tired and
I want to know why he won't let her go back in the house. I says to
him it's too early for Grandma to be up cause she's tired and he tells
me to go back in the house before I get a branch to the hyde. My
backside is still sore from the last branch I got so I decide to go
stand on the porch and wait for Grandma and Grandpa to get back so I
can ask 'em where they went. So I sit there and lots of bugs come and
crawl on my feet cause I wasn't wearin' any shoes and I let them for a
while cause I like the colors they have, but after a while they tickle
so I stop 'em and Grandma and Grandpa still ain't back yet and I still
wonderin' where they are so I eat an apple.



At 9:20 AM, Blogger Anna said...

Secret Redneck


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