Don't cha wish?

Dear Katie,
Tell the CW to stop their searching because I am going to be the next Pussycat Doll.


If there can be two plus sized chicks on America's Next Top Model, why can't there be a portly pussycat? My size aside, I can rock it out on the dance floor. Vocals...please. I am not the best singer on the block, but praising the dolls for their singing is like going to Hooters for the wings. Just cause I make hot pants look more like "please don't wear those" pants, doesn't mean I couldn't join the ranks of the current dolls. Those girls need someone like me, someone who doesn't get by by accidentally dropping things on the floor and bending over to pick them up. I am a fighter. I am fierce. And I know how to par-tay. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...in theory...one day... ANYWAY, life on the road isn't always fun, and I'm sure the dolls are always looking for a non-bony shoulder to cry on. I can be that shoulder, and I can make things fun. I am an excellent hair braider, and my guacamole is to die for. So, Robin Antin, sister of the man I wrote about here, do yourself a favor and make me, Brianna Hope Fly Girl Dancy Pants Jacobson, the next Pussycat Doll.
Love,
Brianna Hope Fly Girl Dancy Pants Jacobson