Katie and Brianna: Heterosexual Life mates

photo We're not gay but we're meant for each other, baby

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Since you've (I've) been gone...

Dear Brianna,

Sorry it's been so long since I've written to you. It's been a little crazy here lately. I don't know if you heard through the grapevine, but I had to go home last weekend to visit my parents. Baltimore has quite a personality. I would write about my experiences on the train, but since you stole my thunder with your bigger and better transportation stories, I will write about something else. Something that may be a very big love of mine.....


Everyone in the whole world knows I have an affinity for coffee, especially coffee of the Dunkin' Doughnuts variety. I just fucking love the stuff. When I'm on my death bed, pull that IV out of the medicine bag and shove it right into a nice large ice coffee with a little bit of skim milk and three sweet-n-lows; you'll only be doing me a favor. Jesus christ I love coffee.

I guess our love affair started my last year of high school when I learned that being awake at night was much more fun than being awake in the day time, and since I had to be up for fucking class at the unholy hour of 7am, coffee became a necessity. In college, I started staying awake until 2 or 3 in the morning, and waking up at 9am so the need for coffee rolled over.

On a slow day I'll have one (large) cup of coffee, and I can drink up to three on a good day. You'll know it's a good day (like today) when I speak really quickly, type insanely fast and shake a whole lot (usually my feet shake the most).

If I have a cup of Dunkin' Doughnuts coffee in my hands, it's a good time to approach me; I'll be in a good mood (even if I'm hung over! it's THAT magical!). That warm bean juice laced with cow secretions and artificial sweetener running down my throat just makes me want to scream in pure delight with every sip! It even still sounds appetizing after I described milk as a secretion! Ew!

It is my duty, as a full blooded coffee drinking American, to know where each and every Dunkin Doughnuts in my path is located. And, I truly do. I can list every Dunkin' doughnuts within thirty miles of my house back in Baltimore. I can also tell you that there is a Dunkin' Doughnuts/Baskin Robbins on 8th btwn 23rd and 24th, a plain Dunkin' Doughnuts on both 34th (btwn 6th and 7th) and on 23rd (btwn 5th and 6th). And yes, there is a Dunkin Doughnuts/Taco Bell on 8th ave btwn 36th and 37th. I only know of one where I live in Brooklyn, and it's at the Fulton Street Mall.

So, in conclusion, I have a problem. But, don't we all?



Post a Comment

<< Home